So, hubby and I went for a bike ride today. The weather was great and we had a good time. We did venture out of the neighborhood and my comfort zone though. I was following his lead when he turned to go out of the neighborhood. Of course I could not ride in silence and enjoy the sunshine and fresh air, I panicked! Not only was he heading out of the neighborhood, there was an incline I would have to consider. But instead of giving up and complaining, I decided to be silent and pray my way through this. It would take divine intervention to get me up that tiny incline. My graceful prayer began something like this:
O God help me climb this mountain, Ok here it comes, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....O God thank you! You are awesome!
Turns out my husband is blissfully unaware of my troubles and decides we should cross a major intersection! It was successful and turns out we were going to the bank by our house. While he was making his transaction I was trying to keep oxygen in my body. It was more of my fear than the exercise. I decided to choose a scripture from my memory bank and meditate on it to get me back home and the only one that I could pull to mind was "Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart; Unite my heart to fear Your name. I will give thanks unto you, O Lord my God with all my heart" (Psa 86:11-12). Well I was so preoccupied on the way home with - why this verse? I failed to realize that we were not headed home, we were headed to the Food Lion on a TWO LANE ROAD!! There was no way to stop and freak out now! We made it to the store!! I was too petrified to yell at my husband who was just riding and blissfully whistling. When he emerged from that store, I decided that it was time for me to take the lead and get us home as soon as I could. Yep! That got his attention, I passed him and did not stop peddling until I got home!
Once we were home and I recovered, I began to realize that the reason I went for that bike ride was because he wanted to go and he said it was good exercise for him. I knew I should exercise in some kind of way so I figured I may as well impress him. My heart was divided between exercising for another person's reason or finding my own motivation. Funny the things we go through to realize something so simple.
But, this is a journey and I am a work in progress ... to be continued.